illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (8:24:06 PM): I'll fly away
wild4u2crazy4u (8:24:14 PM): will you?
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (8:24:45 PM): when I die, hallelujah, by and by
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (8:24:49 PM): I'll fly away
wild4u2crazy4u (8:25:06 PM): what i need is the edited version of my book from my editor
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (8:25:19 PM): who's your editor again?
wild4u2crazy4u (8:25:28 PM): lisa, my cuz
wild4u2crazy4u (8:25:41 PM): did you get the depth piece?
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (8:25:42 PM): oh, and has she finished editing yet?
wild4u2crazy4u (8:25:58 PM): no, she needs to write her one book for school
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (8:26:36 PM): hmmmm, maybe you should find a new editor, no offense to her of course
wild4u2crazy4u (8:26:43 PM): why?
wild4u2crazy4u (8:27:25 PM): reading the reply to the critizism post ?
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (8:27:28 PM): what exactly is her proffesion
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (8:27:32 PM): yep
wild4u2crazy4u (8:28:36 PM): she doesn't have one but she majors in engligh literature i think (something like that)
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (8:28:56 PM): oh. wow this guy is really good
wild4u2crazy4u (8:29:09 PM): yea
wild4u2crazy4u (8:29:25 PM): get my depth piece yet?
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (8:29:38 PM): uhhmmm nope
wild4u2crazy4u (8:30:10 PM): i dunno if you read it yet
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (8:30:25 PM): I don tink sew
wild4u2crazy4u (8:30:45 PM): neither do i
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (8:30:52 PM): do you have a firewall, I can't recieve it
wild4u2crazy4u (8:30:59 PM): i dunno
wild4u2crazy4u (8:31:05 PM): i'll email it
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (8:31:10 PM): kewl
wild4u2crazy4u (8:32:36 PM): gmail
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (8:32:48 PM): ok
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (8:35:27 PM): my crackhead uncle is here
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (8:35:48 PM): I better make sure he doesn't steal my compters
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (8:35:51 PM): brb
wild4u2crazy4u (8:36:01 PM): ok hb
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (8:37:36 PM): back
wild4u2crazy4u (8:37:43 PM): wb
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (8:38:15 PM): heh?
wild4u2crazy4u (8:38:24 PM): welcome back
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (8:38:35 PM): oh....and hb?
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (8:38:39 PM): wait
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (8:38:46 PM): I know this one...
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (8:38:50 PM): uhhhmmmm
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (8:38:55 PM): .............
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (8:39:00 PM):
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (8:39:04 PM): ...........
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (8:39:14 PM): harry buttocks
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (8:39:26 PM): no no no thats not it uhmmm....
wild4u2crazy4u (8:39:26 PM): lol
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (8:39:39 PM): let's see uh....
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (8:39:56 PM): horticulture bob
wild4u2crazy4u (8:40:01 PM): lol no
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (8:40:03 PM): ok, I'm lost
wild4u2crazy4u (8:40:07 PM): hurry back
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (8:40:21 PM): oh. right. yeah. I knew that.
wild4u2crazy4u (8:40:42 PM): hey i wanna hit my bag a few ok
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (8:40:49 PM): why?
wild4u2crazy4u (8:41:23 PM): cause i just read the piece i sent you
wild4u2crazy4u (8:41:45 PM): that, and the critizism crap
wild4u2crazy4u (8:41:51 PM): ok?
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (8:41:53 PM): I don't post new poems until the old ones get at least two replies and I post at least one reply to someone elses, sound like a good policy to you?
wild4u2crazy4u (8:42:05 PM): yes
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (8:42:17 PM): why doesnt that werk for any other forum
wild4u2crazy4u (8:42:24 PM): dunno
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (8:42:55 PM): bastards, cockbiting motherfucker
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (8:42:59 PM): s
wild4u2crazy4u (8:43:09 PM): i'm gooma go hit ok
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (8:43:20 PM): hey ok me too
wild4u2crazy4u (8:43:24 PM): ok
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (8:50:58 PM): I wanna tell you about Texas radio and the Big Beat
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (8:51:25 PM): it comes out of the Virginia swamps cool and slow with plenty of percision
wild4u2crazy4u (8:51:35 PM): really?
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (8:52:07 PM): with a back beat narrow and hard to master
wild4u2crazy4u (8:52:15 PM): coo
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (8:52:37 PM): some call it heavenly in it's brilliance
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (8:52:51 PM): others, mean and ruthful of the western dream
wild4u2crazy4u (8:52:52 PM): sounds brilliant
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (8:53:24 PM): I love the friends I have gathered here on this thin raft
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (8:53:43 PM): we have constucted pyramids in honor of our escaping
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (8:53:56 PM): this is the land where the pharoh died
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (8:54:03 PM): ok. I'm done
wild4u2crazy4u (8:54:32 PM): cool
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (8:54:45 PM): Jim wrote that one
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (8:55:03 PM): the negros in the forests, brightly feathered
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (8:55:22 PM): they are saying forget the night, live with us in forests of azure
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (8:55:53 PM): out here in the perimeter there is no stars
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (8:56:04 PM): out here we is stoned, immaculate
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (8:56:23 PM): sorry
wild4u2crazy4u (8:56:29 PM): sorry?
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (8:56:52 PM): for going off like that
wild4u2crazy4u (8:57:25 PM): thats ok
wild4u2crazy4u (8:57:32 PM): its beatiful
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (8:57:38 PM): I guess no one is browsing the poetry forums except me and postmodernlove
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (8:57:45 PM): really?
wild4u2crazy4u (8:58:11 PM): yes
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (8:58:29 PM): I thought you didn't like my poetry
wild4u2crazy4u (8:59:19 PM): when did i say that
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (8:59:37 PM): you didn't I guess I just assumed....
wild4u2crazy4u (8:59:55 PM): don't
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (9:00:11 PM): never again
wild4u2crazy4u (9:00:16 PM): lol good
wild4u2crazy4u (9:00:30 PM): did you get the depth piece?
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (9:00:34 PM): yes boss
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (9:00:36 PM): yes
wild4u2crazy4u (9:00:41 PM): lol
wild4u2crazy4u (9:00:44 PM): good
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (9:04:51 PM): w...uh....hmmmm....where...uh....where did that come from?
wild4u2crazy4u (9:05:03 PM): a while ago
wild4u2crazy4u (9:05:14 PM): what do you think?
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (9:06:04 PM): WWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOO...............and..........YEAAAAAAAA........
AHHHHHHHH...and.......aaaaaahhhahhahahha yeah.....spooky
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (9:06:18 PM): good typos
wild4u2crazy4u (9:06:29 PM): what do you mean?
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (9:06:51 PM): well there are typos but it is good
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (9:07:08 PM): soooooo good, typos
wild4u2crazy4u (9:07:21 PM): ok
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (9:07:23 PM): like good news, bad news
wild4u2crazy4u (9:07:29 PM): ok
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (9:07:47 PM): oooooorrrr.... good typos
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (9:08:00 PM): hehehe
wild4u2crazy4u (9:08:03 PM): i'm messed up
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (9:08:22 PM): sqwe all awr
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (9:08:47 PM): he I'm the illegitamate son of a rock and roll star
wild4u2crazy4u (9:08:58 PM): but i'm really messed up
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (9:10:02 PM): I think you should take consolation in the fact that no one is more messed up than me, I certainly do....
wild4u2crazy4u (9:10:22 PM): l..o..l...
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (9:10:52 PM): but as to your being messed up, ahhh....well...hmmm, this too shall pass
wild4u2crazy4u (9:11:03 PM): no it won't
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (9:11:21 PM): or..... you'll learn to hide it better
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (9:11:40 PM): orrr.....you'll take a flying leap of a really high rock
wild4u2crazy4u (9:11:59 PM): better? better? I hid it for two fucking years, i just decided that i trusted you enough to share!!!!!!!!!
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (9:12:03 PM): hmmmm.....that sounds nice, not for you I mean
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (9:12:52 PM): sorry, a bit whimsical right now, bad moment, good thing it's gone, ready to be serious, sorry sorry sorry sorry
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (9:13:06 PM): sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (9:13:35 PM):
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (9:13:44 PM): your not that messed up.....
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (9:13:48 PM): are you?
wild4u2crazy4u (9:13:55 PM): i am
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (9:14:16 PM): think you're going crazy?
wild4u2crazy4u (9:14:24 PM): no
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (9:14:36 PM): hmmmm....how do you feel?
wild4u2crazy4u (9:15:19 PM): um
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (9:18:36 PM): got kicked off
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (9:19:21 PM): sorry
wild4u2crazy4u (9:19:28 PM): ok
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (9:19:51 PM): I don't understand
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (9:19:58 PM): you
wild4u2crazy4u (9:20:10 PM): course not, which is kind of weird
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (9:20:18 PM): how so?
wild4u2crazy4u (9:20:32 PM): just is
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (9:20:40 PM): hmmmm
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (9:25:31 PM): can
wild4u2crazy4u (9:25:46 PM): can?
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (9:25:51 PM): i ask you something, a little off the subject
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (9:25:57 PM): sorry
wild4u2crazy4u (9:26:03 PM): huh
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (9:26:36 PM): can i ask you something, that may seem a little weird
wild4u2crazy4u (9:26:45 PM): ok
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (9:28:24 PM): uhhmmm...I'm not sure how to begin this but, being brutally honest, who am I? at least who do you think I am, how would you describe me, as a person?
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (9:29:04 PM): brutally, soul-crushingly honest
wild4u2crazy4u (9:29:48 PM): you are, as an idividual, you, how you choose to be you, how you are made, and how you are affected by life, you're Jess, no other way to describe you
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (9:31:14 PM): uhhhmmmm......how do you mean 'no other way to describe you'? who is Jess? I'm not sure sometimes
wild4u2crazy4u (9:31:52 PM): you are the way you are
wild4u2crazy4u (9:32:00 PM): its hard to explain
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (9:34:25 PM): hmmm...the way I am...is that good or bad?
wild4u2crazy4u (9:34:32 PM): good
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (9:37:26 PM): good. well, I guess since I don't even know the question I should be satisfied with any answer I get, right?
wild4u2crazy4u (9:37:41 PM): lol yea
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (9:40:19 PM): hmmmm....well.....whatcha thinkin about?
wild4u2crazy4u (9:40:45 PM): nothing, playing a game, before i was thinking about how me and mike met
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (9:41:01 PM): oh kewl
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (9:56:57 PM): I'm tired of blood and over priced bubble gum
wild4u2crazy4u (9:57:02 PM): i get to take pills the rest of my fucking life, whoop di fucking doo
wild4u2crazy4u (9:57:03 PM): lol
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (9:57:55 PM): hmmm....might I ask why you can't talk o a psychiatrist
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (9:58:00 PM): *to
wild4u2crazy4u (9:58:08 PM): i do!!!!!
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (9:59:59 PM): ok, why doesn't it help
wild4u2crazy4u (10:00:20 PM): how the fuck should i know?
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (10:02:08 PM): hmmmm....the victim complex
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (10:05:54 PM): no, don't think so
wild4u2crazy4u (10:06:05 PM): ok yea...
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (10:06:14 PM): i don't think the pills are helping
wild4u2crazy4u (10:06:23 PM): lol no
wild4u2crazy4u (10:06:30 PM): wanna know something
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (10:08:12 PM): yes
wild4u2crazy4u (10:08:18 PM): this isn't even close to the worst
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (10:08:31 PM): what was the worst like?
wild4u2crazy4u (10:09:02 PM): a fierce hurricane in the head
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (10:09:58 PM): have you ever had no head
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (10:10:07 PM): thats interesting
wild4u2crazy4u (10:10:12 PM): ok
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (10:10:26 PM): so what is this like
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (10:10:42 PM): a small thunderstorm?
wild4u2crazy4u (10:10:54 PM): a big one
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (10:11:06 PM): with hail?
wild4u2crazy4u (10:11:07 PM): all compacted into your small head
wild4u2crazy4u (10:11:27 PM): and life doesn't seem worth it
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (10:11:57 PM): hmmmm....so you're saying this is all a chemical imbalance?
wild4u2crazy4u (10:12:07 PM): yes
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (10:12:09 PM): I think you need new chemicals
wild4u2crazy4u (10:12:20 PM): roflmao
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (10:12:31 PM): a complete life-force transfusion
wild4u2crazy4u (10:12:35 PM): i wish it were that simple
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (10:12:49 PM): they only do that in foreign countries
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (10:12:57 PM): and very expensive too
wild4u2crazy4u (10:13:09 PM): damn
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (10:13:18 PM): yeah, I know...
wild4u2crazy4u (10:14:56 PM): i think i'll take a show
wild4u2crazy4u (10:14:57 PM): er
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (10:20:31 PM): so it's all chemicals.......and they gave you pills for this........and I take it they've already upped the dosage eh?.......and now they aren't working.........and they're prolly gonna up the dosage again or give you something else altogether or give you something else in addition to what you are already taking.........and after a while that won't work......and they'll do the same thing all over again.........and soon your body will be so totally packed with drugs and chemicals that you won't even be able to feel any kind of emotion without wondering if it's real or if it's the drugs........then I'm sure they'll come up with some revolutionary new drug and of course they tell you it'll fix all that other stuff......and your body will become one big toxic wasteland........
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (10:21:09 PM): and your soul will become chemical.....and you will become one of them.
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (10:22:56 PM): did I get all that right?
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (10:23:44 PM): hmmmm.....one hell of a way to live
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (10:27:40 PM): odd....I've got no thunderstorms but my life doesn't seem worth living.....but then....it never has.
wild4u2crazy4u (10:44:59 PM): that about sums it up
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (10:53:31 PM): oh. ok.
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (10:54:24 PM): you know there are alternatives
wild4u2crazy4u (10:54:35 PM): such as?
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (10:54:50 PM): it seems like you think pills are the only option
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (10:55:07 PM): and you don't take conventional therepy seriously
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (10:55:27 PM): I think thats why talking to a shrink doesn't help you
wild4u2crazy4u (10:55:53 PM): lol no maybe it's the fact that i see him once a month
wild4u2crazy4u (10:56:15 PM): and it doesn't help that they keep switchin my counselors at school
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (10:56:17 PM): and why do you only see him once a month
wild4u2crazy4u (10:56:30 PM): caz he's only in hawaii once a month
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (10:56:55 PM): I think you need a new head shrinker
wild4u2crazy4u (10:57:29 PM): everyone thinks that i'm doing well, which i am
wild4u2crazy4u (10:57:38 PM): i'ts only th evenings
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (10:57:39 PM): you are?
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (10:57:55 PM): why the evenings
wild4u2crazy4u (10:58:11 PM): the drugs wear of lmao
wild4u2crazy4u (10:58:15 PM): off*
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (10:58:57 PM): so they'll up your dosage
wild4u2crazy4u (10:59:04 PM): they did
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (10:59:40 PM): there you go, all the solutions in one little (or in your case big) pill
wild4u2crazy4u (11:00:03 PM): are you trying to make me feel worse?
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (11:00:31 PM): sorry, I'm just opposed to the pill thing
wild4u2crazy4u (11:01:08 PM): so wat's there to talk about in conventional theropy?
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (11:02:07 PM): maybe if you understood the feelings and where they came from you would be able to prevent them or stop them
wild4u2crazy4u (11:02:20 PM): roflmao
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (11:02:40 PM): that was funny?
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (11:02:55 PM): let me rephrase that
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (11:03:52 PM): if you could understand those feelings and where they come from you would be able to come to terms with them and feel a different way.
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (11:04:07 PM): no maybes
wild4u2crazy4u (11:04:11 PM): roflmao
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (11:05:27 PM): That is exactly why you are utterly incapable of anything better than this poor, unhappy existence you call your life.
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (11:05:59 PM): go ahead and take your pills, I hope they're good company.
wild4u2crazy4u (11:10:44 PM): you know what jess, the solution to your problem isn't necessarily the solution to others, sometimes people nedd different solutions, you know, you're just lik all those people always trying to help but not knowing how, you only have more of an understanding of what i'm going through. And i do not hold theropy theropy in contempt. I don't understand why i thought you'd br different, it was just a illusion created by the fact that you experienced something similar. Be sure that this is the last time this subject will never come up again. I just lost another leg, thank god it wasn't as big as Sam
illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (11:23:54 PM): therapy wasn't the solution to my problem, Rene'e, and I never gave you any reason to believe that. All I was saying was that you not, as you so beautifully put it 'roflmao' but consider it seriously. And believe me when I say that you have no earthly idea of what I went through and am still going through, and what you are going through now does not even come close to similarity with it. My comment was directed at your negativity towards anything you don't understand, not your reluctance to believe therapy would be the solution to all you problems, which in itself is a completely ridiculous idea that I didn't suggest anyway. I was suggesting that you come to understand your feelings and where they came from in order to rid yourself of them. illegitamatesonofarocknrollstar (11:31:09 PM): That, Rene'e, was the solution to my problem, and it in no way involved therapy. I suggested therapy as a means to acheiving that solution because it would be a more appropriale way for you, instead of the way I chose, which I do not think you could or would want to attempt. Then perhaps you would be able to stand on your own legs, and not need others to hold you up. Perhaps now, without any 'legs' you might be able to attempt te solution I suggested and have been suggesting for a long time now. And as I'm sure you will probably not read this, or disregard it if you do, at the risk of sounding condescending, I pray that you find it in yourself to try what I suggested and find peace. I say these things with all the love and respect I hold for you, my oldest and dearest friend.
